Have you ever been so disappointed in yourself that you don't know what to do next? That feeling of how could I have screwed up so badly? I know I am an imperfect person. I am not the kindest, happiest, most loving person in the world. I know my faults, and I try to correct them when I realize what I have done. I found out today that I hurt some of my best friends so severely, one decided not to be friends with me anymore.
I always chalked it up to the business of new lives, jobs, husbands, etcs. I never looked at myself as the person to blame. I reached out multiple times, never to get responses. Well I finely got my response, and boy was it hurtful. I found characteristics in myself I would choose to forget. The possibility that I could ruin a friendship, without knowledge, without even a thought of it being my fault...
The person I hurt is a good, Godly person. He/She didn't deserve to be hurt. They have helped me out when I asked or didn't ask for it multiple times. It took 14 months for this person to get over my offense.
When I found this out today, my first reaction was anger. Why didn't they ever approach me with their problem. I realize that I should have been more open to see their hurt, their pain. I wasn't there for this person the way they have always been there for me.
This isn't the first friend I have lost due to my own recklessness. Unfortunately it will probably not be the last. I am so sorry if I have hurt you personally. I pray for guidance, patience, and love for others. Please pray for me...
I am so sorry for your hurt. We are all imperfect and have hurt people at one time or another. I can relate to those feelings. However, I think that's why it is very important that we communicate with each other, even when it's hard, scratch that, especially when it's hard, when it hurts.
ReplyDeleteRelationships of any kind, marriage, or friendships take a lot of work by both parties. If someone gets offended or hurt it needs to be brought up. I'm not saying that's easy and I'm a very non confrontational person so I know how hard it is. But I think to truly live in community with others the way God wants us to then it is necessary.
Sometimes it's easier to walk away then walk through the hurt. Isn't that why people get divorced? Not a good solution, though maybe easier for the short term. Just some thoughts.
But I'll be praying for you.
Becky