Fertility

Many of my family and friends know how much I want children. I have talked about having a baby for years, since I was young. I have volunteered in nurseries, baby sat, played with my cousins, and even have a career with babies. You could say my passion is babies ;). So it may be a surprise to know that I am infertile. Meaning that I have had unprotected sex for more than a year without conceiving. To be exact we have been trying to conceive for 28.5 months. Really, almost 2.5 years. I always had a feeling that I would have trouble, woman's intuition I guess. I didn't know what that "trouble" would entail. We started with a few doctors visits, labs, a couple procedures and now have the diagnosis of unexplained infertility. What's the treatment? Fertility treatments. Follicle simulators, ovulation inductions, insemination...We have done it all. And it's not working. Not yet. I know there are many people experiencing exactly what I am across the world. But sometimes we feel alone. We have prayed and prayed. My prayers have turned to begging. Begging into tears. Tears into desperation. I never thought giving myself a shot would be a common occurrence. Nor did I ever think my dreams of becoming a mother may never come true. This isn't meant as a pity party, but just a way to vent my frustrations. Plus, no one reads this because I never post ;). I know God has a plan for us. A way for us to be parents. I only pray that this time it will work, this time we will have a baby, and this time my dream will come true...